Removing the Mystery

Despite going shooting a couple of times with my husband, I didn't really know much about hand guns.  In fact, they still frightened me.  I didn't want to touch them for fear it would "just go off."  I would also have a fear of not trusting myself - like I would just pull the trigger.  I think it all stemmed from an underlying fear of knowing how powerful a gun was - but not really understanding the way it worked or how to handle one confidently.

In 2009 our son was born.  I came to a realization that gun ownership was going to be a part of my life.  If we were going to raise children in a home with guns, then every adult living there needed to know how a gun worked and the safe handling of one so that our kid would be safe.  I decided to take a Basic Pistol for Women class at Marksmen Pistol Institute in Tucson.

I decided to take an all women's class rather than a co-ed class because it felt less intimidating.  Shooting seems like such a "male" thing.  The class was taught by a woman and addressed women issues when it came to shooting (like recoil, how hard it is to pull some triggers, gun selection, concealment options).  Women in the class varied in age from late teens to early seventies.  We were there for the same reason - to feel more comfortable handling firearms.

I felt so empowered after taking the class.  I felt like I could "talk guns" with my husband know that I know the definitions of different calibers and types of gun.  I wasn't scared to handle a gun - loaded or unloaded - because I understood how it worked, that it wouldn't just go off on its own, and that pulling the trigger is a decisive action that takes a considerable amount of force (just brushing my finger against wasn't going to send a bullet flying).  I felt like a safe, responsible gun owner and parent.

I felt like I had an idea of what type of gun I wanted to purchase for myself.  Prior to the class I wanted a Walther P22 because I liked the way it felt in my hand.  After the class I decided on a Ruger SP101 since it had more stopping power if I was in a self defense situation and I was more comfortable understanding the operation of a revolver.  Over the next year I would still deliberate on what type of hand gun I would purchase for myself.

The Marksmen gave each class participant a free voucher to come back to the range and practice shooting.  I went one day during my lunch break - in a skirt and high heels.  There was something so bad ass about being feminine and shooting a gun.  I kinda felt like I was living out a small part of my FBI agent dream of my youth.  Also, going to the gun range without my husband was empowering - showed me I could do this on my own without a man guiding the way.

Who is Bang Bang?

I shot a gun for the first time in January 2004.  You see, there was this guy I really, really like.  He was into shooting and said he would show me how.  I was terrified, but said yes because I really wanted to impress him with my toughness.

He laid out a variety of guns before me – even though he patiently explained what each one was and what types of bullets it shot – it all went in one headphone protected ear and out the other.  All I gleaned was there were semi-automatic and revolvers.  I liked the revolvers more.

What resulted was the realization that I was a natural.  All my shots stayed within the body outline of my target.  If my aim was to impress my guy friend, it worked.  He kept nudging the other guys in the range going “Check this out!  This is her first time shooting!”   Shortly afterwards, he dubbed me with the nick name “Bang Bang.”

In August of that year, my friend asked me out on our first real date.  It was a great first date, the kind of night that you know is the start of something really special.  The next day we went back to the shooting range.  Three months later, he asked me to marry him.  He still refers to me as “Bang.”

Now I’m not saying that it was my showing an interest in shooting that sealed our fate.  We do have a lot of other things in common – such as we met at work, we are both engineers, we love doing house projects and traveling when we can.  But this blog is about gun ownership and it is a part of our history.

Before my future husband took the time to teach me – guns mystified me.  I was half in awe of anyone who knew how to use one and half terrified of the power it held.  The first time I knew I wanted to learn how to shoot a gun was in 1998.  I had just graduated high school and my church youth group was visiting the FBI in Washington DC.  It was at the time X-Files was the “it” show on TV.  They had a shooting demonstration and I was in love.  I wanted to go to college and become an FBI agent.

Well, although I still sometimes fantasy about becoming an FBI agent, life took me a different direction.  But just because I don’t have a badge or need a gun for work – it didn’t mean I didn’t need to learn how to use one.

You see, whether you like them or hate them, guns are a part of our world.  Just because you don’t own one doesn’t mean you can always avoid them.  You might find yourself married to someone who owns gun and if you are going to live under the same roof as one, you best know how it works, how to load and unload it, how to pick it up and make sure its safe, and how to handle it.  Even if you don’t have a gun in your home, your friend may have a gun – or worse, an attacker may have a gun.  You never know at what point in an attack you may luck out and have that gun in yours hands.  It is just best that you know how to use it.

This is why I’m starting this blog.  It is aimed towards your average woman, one who may or may not have ever been attack, who may or may not have ever picked up a gun, but doesn’t know much about them.  She may feel uneasy around them – either because she doesn’t know how they work or because gun ownership tends to feel so male dominated.  I’m hoping as I document a little of my journey I can de-mystify the process of learning how to shoot a gun, going to a class and purchasing a gun for yourself.

Who knows, you might like the experience and decide that a gun is what you want for self protection.  Or you might hate it, but hey, at least you know how it works incase you and a gun ever cross paths.

After all – despite the hype – guns are not good or bad.  It is a tool – an inanimate object.  It will not go off unless someone pulls the trigger.  Some people choose to use them responsibly and some choose to be criminals.  It is my personal opinion we need many more responsible, law abiding gun owners out there.  And if not gun owners, a more educated society that understands the mechanical workings and safe handling of firearms. 

I also think that there have been great strides to include woman in the sport of shooting and the privilege of gun ownership.  However I also think more can be done.  I plan on using this blog to address that.

And finally, I hope to use this blog as a resource for women’s self defense.  By the grace of God, I have never been physically attack.  I had been close once, but was able to fight my way free before it got out of hand.  I’ve carried around this “It’ll never happen to me” attitude for far too long.  Recently I have started to learn about self defense and even though I haven’t had to use it – thank goodness – it has had such a positive affect on my life.  There is something to be said for feeling capable and prepared.  I feel like before I learned about self defense I was walking around like a scared target.  Now I feel confident, self aware and able to fight back.

All my post will be open to respectful comments.  Also feel free to e-mail me at bangbangvaboom@gmail.com.